郁闷了

碰到Ben，告诉他我投简历了。。。
之后我们的谈话让我俩都很郁闷。
Robin Miao Wang: 03:49:56
E & Y
Benjamin: 03:50:12
Very nice :)
Robin Miao Wang: 03:50:24
but i dont think i can get it
Benjamin: 03:50:33
Why is that?
Robin Miao Wang: 03:51:11
the firm is in Beijing,and i think they would more like to hire students from universities in Beijing
Robin Miao Wang: 03:51:31
they like students from famous colleges
Robin Miao Wang: 03:52:00
although accounting major in my uni is in one of the tops in china
Benjamin: 03:52:10
Oh, I see. But I thought you didn't like it
Robin Miao Wang: 03:52:17
but the comprehensive power of my uni is not strong
Robin Miao Wang: 03:52:46
i would accept any internship from such a BIG firm
Benjamin: 03:53:18
So? What does a big firm have to do with anything?
Robin Miao Wang: 03:53:41
i dunno much about it,but mainly in an accounting firm
Robin Miao Wang: 03:53:45
they do audits
Robin Miao Wang: 03:54:10
but if i intern thre
Robin Miao Wang: 03:54:12
there*
Robin Miao Wang: 03:54:20
i think the job wont be too hard
Robin Miao Wang: 03:54:32
and i could learn more from that experience
Benjamin: 03:54:37
But you wouldn't be enjoying it, would you?
Robin Miao Wang: 03:54:43
i dunno
Robin Miao Wang: 03:55:00
just wanna broaden my horizon
Benjamin: 03:55:14
Doing stuff that you wouldn't enjoy?
Robin Miao Wang: 03:55:19
yea
Robin Miao Wang: 03:55:23
which is also
Robin Miao Wang: 03:55:25
my majot
Robin Miao Wang: 03:55:27
major*
Benjamin: 03:55:33
But you wouldn't enjoy it
Robin Miao Wang: 03:55:47
maybe i wouldnt have any chance to get it :P
Benjamin: 03:56:10
True, but you should enjoy it
Robin Miao Wang: 03:56:12
coz my academic record is not impressive
Benjamin: 03:56:28
Why will you do something you won't enjoy??
Robin Miao Wang: 03:56:31
i would see whether i can enjoy it
Robin Miao Wang: 03:56:53
this is just an internship IF i could get it
Robin Miao Wang: 03:57:15
and I could know more what those guys do in that kinda firm
Robin Miao Wang: 03:57:31
after all,this is my major
Benjamin: 03:57:43
But you don't enjoy it
Robin Miao Wang: 03:57:53
if i dont enjoy it,i would have more reasons to hate it after i have the experience
Robin Miao Wang: 03:58:07
if i have no strong feelings
Robin Miao Wang: 03:58:10
its better
Robin Miao Wang: 03:58:17
i earn the experience
Robin Miao Wang: 03:58:25
so in one word,
Robin Miao Wang: 03:58:33
everything for the experience
Robin Miao Wang: 03:58:36
8-|
Benjamin: 03:58:41
Hummm...
Robin Miao Wang: 03:58:52
its just an internship anyway
Benjamin: 03:58:57
Even if you don't enjoy it??
Robin Miao Wang: 03:59:02
yea
Robin Miao Wang: 03:59:28
coz the famous firm is a tempt
Robin Miao Wang: 03:59:33
temptation
Benjamin: 03:59:59
Why is it a temptation?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:00:31
it would make my resume more attractive
Robin Miao Wang: 04:00:49
it can also means i have the background in this field
Robin Miao Wang: 04:01:00
and a good chance to train myself
Benjamin: 04:01:02
But you don't enjoy it
Robin Miao Wang: 04:01:28
i think i dont enjoy it from the books and my character
Robin Miao Wang: 04:01:38
but i would like to try different things
Benjamin: 04:01:43
Like what??
Robin Miao Wang: 04:01:43
like adventure
Robin Miao Wang: 04:02:03
try to experience them,then judge them
Benjamin: 04:02:20
But what if you don't enjoy it? I thought you enjoy writting
Robin Miao Wang: 04:02:31
hmm
Robin Miao Wang: 04:02:45
and drawing
Robin Miao Wang: 04:02:48
and speaking
Benjamin: 04:03:18
exactly
Robin Miao Wang: 04:03:32
im just attracted by the temptation a famous firm brings
Benjamin: 04:03:45
Why? if it brings you no value
Robin Miao Wang: 04:04:01
i could see those people work and think
Robin Miao Wang: 04:04:22
how those *
Benjamin: 04:04:38
What value would it bring to you??
Robin Miao Wang: 04:05:52
1) from the practical aspect,if i get an opportunity,it would make my resume next year more impressive
Benjamin: 04:06:21
Why should what others think matter to you?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:06:41
2) from the personal aspect,i could learn more on how the people work and think in a famous successful firm
Robin Miao Wang: 04:07:33
coz i will find jobs after graduation,and to get a good one whether i wanna work in accounting firms or some companies,this woule support my ability
Benjamin: 04:08:29
So in other words, you are doing it to please others?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:09:31
to make the employers i wanna work for to believe that i can be capable in some open
Robin Miao Wang: 04:10:16
coz during the recruitment,their standard is
Benjamin: 04:10:23
believe?? that means its not true?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:10:37
to see whether the candidate has ability to re-study
Robin Miao Wang: 04:10:40
why not true?
Benjamin: 04:11:13
Because to believe in something, it means that you don't know if its true or not, you are accepting it as a matter of faith
Robin Miao Wang: 04:11:15
if i could get the internship and learn from the expected experience and develop myself,that would means i have the ability
Robin Miao Wang: 04:11:27
i dunno
Benjamin: 04:11:46
I know
Robin Miao Wang: 04:11:48
i mean to make them be sure
Robin Miao Wang: 04:11:49
?
Benjamin: 04:11:58
By being yourself?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:12:04
of course
Benjamin: 04:12:29
So then you don't have to do any believing
Robin Miao Wang: 04:13:17
there are A LOT graduates to candidate each year
Benjamin: 04:13:29
So?
Benjamin: 04:13:40
Why do you have to be something that you aren't?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:13:49
if you wanna get the offer,you had better supply some "proves"
Benjamin: 04:14:00
Offer, for what?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:14:08
for a job
Robin Miao Wang: 04:14:20
i also dont like teaching,but i have taught as well
Benjamin: 04:14:20
and what proof are you talking about?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:14:29
the experiences
Robin Miao Wang: 04:14:48
which can support your ability in study
Benjamin: 04:15:11
Like what??
Robin Miao Wang: 04:15:17
what like what
Benjamin: 04:15:38
What experiences? If you go into something that you love (e.g. Journalism), how would the experience of Accounting help you out?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:15:57
i dont think i could get into journalism
Benjamin: 04:16:03
Why is that?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:16:18
being a newwoman in china?
Benjamin: 04:16:32
Yes, or someone who writes articles in Newspapers
Robin Miao Wang: 04:16:43
its even difficult for a graudate in Journalism major
Robin Miao Wang: 04:16:51
to find a job in their area
Benjamin: 04:16:52
But thats what you love, right?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:17:01
not exactly..
Benjamin: 04:17:09
What do you love?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:17:15
drawing
Robin Miao Wang: 04:17:17
and
Robin Miao Wang: 04:17:32
maybe something related to communication & media
Robin Miao Wang: 04:17:40
though journalism is part of it
Benjamin: 04:17:40
Then why don't you major in that?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:17:49
i told you about it
Robin Miao Wang: 04:17:55
i underestimated my score
Benjamin: 04:18:03
So? If you love it, do it!
Robin Miao Wang: 04:18:05
in the entrance exam
Benjamin: 04:18:20
Who cares about a silly entrance exam to a silly school?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:18:54
chinese live and work in the china's society care
Benjamin: 04:19:12
Who cares about society? Why do you care what someone else thinks so much?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:19:35
im the one who doesnt care most among the chinese
Benjamin: 04:19:43
But you do
Robin Miao Wang: 04:19:50
yes,coz im in china
Robin Miao Wang: 04:19:56
and i need to eat in china
Robin Miao Wang: 04:20:00
i need to live in china
Robin Miao Wang: 04:20:07
so even though i fight
Benjamin: 04:20:16
Why do you need to live in China?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:20:17
i could still care
Robin Miao Wang: 04:20:26
coz i cant live abroad
Benjamin: 04:20:36
Why not?
Benjamin: 04:20:42
Why don't you make it a goal?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:20:46
coz i have no money to go abroad
Benjamin: 04:21:40
Why don't you get money to go abroad?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:21:47
how???
Robin Miao Wang: 04:21:50
rob?
Benjamin: 04:22:46
No, work and save up
Robin Miao Wang: 04:23:18
you think its that easy to save money from a random job to go abroad??
Benjamin: 04:23:23
Yes
Robin Miao Wang: 04:23:36
you should come here to see!
Benjamin: 04:23:43
Humm...
Benjamin: 04:23:44
maybe
Robin Miao Wang: 04:23:44
if you were a chinese
Robin Miao Wang: 04:23:54
you would know the situation
Benjamin: 04:24:16
I suppose so
Robin Miao Wang: 04:24:24
some parents sell their house to support their kid to study abroad
Robin Miao Wang: 04:25:05
and thats just study,most of them would have to come back after graduation if they cant find jobs abroad
Robin Miao Wang: 04:25:22
and when they come back,they still have to face the working pressure home
Benjamin: 04:25:28
I have to go now. I'm getting tired and slightly annoyed
Benjamin: 04:25:31
I will talk to you later, ok?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:25:36
ok
Robin Miao Wang: 04:25:39
why annoyed?
Benjamin: 04:25:52
Because you don't seem to be living for yourself
Benjamin: 04:25:54
and I also don't feel good either
Robin Miao Wang: 04:26:01
:(
Robin Miao Wang: 04:26:06
im sorry you feel this way
Benjamin: 04:26:15
I know, I understand
Benjamin: 04:26:27
Maybe I'll be online later
Robin Miao Wang: 04:26:32
ok
Benjamin: 04:26:39
So I'll talk with you then, ok?
Robin Miao Wang: 04:26:51
alright
Benjamin: 04:27:14
bye for now
Benjamin: 04:27:14
Plus, I also find this program to be annoying. Every time the icon bounce, it stops my computer

从家回来，
得了急性肠胃炎，发烧去医院了，打了个屁针，两瓶点滴，
回来好多了，喝粥。

想老公。

*Mr Tang从北京逃课回来看老婆了，还在梅园A开了个交流会。取得大部分是法学院的，问的问题大部分是有关考研的。
语录：怕吃苦吃一辈子苦，不怕吃苦吃半辈子苦。
只有全心全力的拼一次，才有机会做自己喜欢做的事。
读书要分精度和泛读。
读一本书的成本其实是你花在这上的时间。（张五常说，他选书的时间要比读书的时间长。）
读书要分快慢。
我当时考研的想法是，拼一次，我可以缓三年。
我的成功在于我坚持到了最后，看着前面的人一个个倒下。

希望自己不是这样一个太感性的人,太敏感的人,太情深的人。恐怕我的爱太深，成为别人的负担，恐怕我的情太重，给别人压迫感。总是告诉自己，忍耐。可总是终就忍不下去，说出自己的心。尽管如此，也未曾敢告诉你，其实，我比别人更需要照顾。
我是水，柔肠回转，需要容器将我拥抱，否则不定会漂到哪，蒸发到哪里，流浪到哪里。水的眼泪，总是流回自己的心里，不肯让人看到。如果容器肯爱她，关心她，一定会感到水的眼泪。
我能做的只有耐心的、无声的等待你。有时想，双鱼座，会不会在水中死掉，如果这水不是河，不是海，不是雨，而是属于一个杯子的静止的水......放弃做小溪，放弃做河流，放弃做大海，是你曾经给了我决心去做杯中的水，你说你要时刻关心我，照顾我，给我稳定和快乐，我愿意，因为我是有柔情的水......还相信自己会在水上快乐的游......
想爱，因为爱能带给我安全感。但此时此刻，我想你想得落泪了。

不敢告诉你，其实，你的女孩儿需要更多的照顾......